We are more than halfway through this two week AT and I feel stupid and ridiculous even feeling like this. I am exhausted. Words can't even describe the exhaustion. I am just tired. Tired of doing everything around here. Don't get me wrong, I do most everything anyway, but the at least Michael is normally here to give me a 5 minute reprieve.
Not to mention Patrick is starting to get a stubborn streak in him. He is also starting to hit. I am torn as to what to do with that. I have been smacking his hand and firmly saying "No." I would much prefer a timeout to hitting. It doesn't make sense to me...hitting him because he hit me. Don't get me wrong, I believe a kid needs a good spanking every now and then (if the need arises) but Patrick is too little to understand a time out. Any suggestions?
Today, he was hitting his head against the wall (Why?) so I moved him from the wall and tried to distract him with other toys. Well he didn't like that, came over and smacked my leg! I said, "No, we don't hit Mommy." To which he smiled, and hit me again! Ughhh. Then I smacked his hand and sat him on the carpet away from me, again saying 'No.' He cried that time, but then came right back and did it again! What do I do?
By the end of the day I am spent and my patience is gone. I feel so bad getting short with him or yelling, when he is so little and doesn't understand why I am doing it. After bath time today he would NOT sit still long enough for me to get his diaper on, even after handing him everything I had in arms reach to distract. I yelled at him, and he started crying. My heart hurt. Seriously. But what do I do? After I put him down for bedtime, I felt so bad I went back up and rocked him.
When I tell Michael he always suggests getting my parents to watch him for a bit. Well that's nice, but then I feel like a failure. Why can't I watch him and just handle it. It's two weeks for crying out loud. I did it for a whole freaking year and survived and I am struggling with TWO WEEKS. What the hell would I do if he deployed?
Ugh. For now I am going to have a glass of wine and feel like the WMOY...Worst mom of the year.
About Me
- Kelly
- I am a 4th grade teacher and love my job, even if I do need a glass of wine at the end of the day sometimes! I have been married to my amazing husband for over five years now and love every second we are together. We have survived a year deployment to Iraq and are happy to be together again. We welcomed our first child, Patrick, on April 2, 2011. He is truly a blessing! I started this blog as a way to keep Michael updated on my life if we couldn't talk, and for my friends at school!
Before our long year began...
Together again after our long year apart
Patrick James
Welcomed with love on April 2, 2011
Wedding Day
1 comment:
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