Memorial Day

As everyone heads out to the beach or to BBQ's on this Memorial Day, take a moment to remember why we have an extended weekend.


Memorial Day is about remembering those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and those that they leave behind.

I thank God everyday that my husband came home safe from war. There are still thousands overseas, away from loved ones, sacrificing for our freedom. Remember those this holiday weekend, and say a prayer for them and their families.

Remember Me

I tried to insert the video in the link above, but YouTube wasn't cooperating. Take a moment to view it. I made the mistake of watching it while Michael was deployed. I cried like a baby.

I Will Survive

Well, I have survived three days back to work so far! I have cried less everyday, but I am still crying and I don't think that will ever change. I just feel like a horrible mom leaving him with someone else (even if it's my mom) all day. I told my husband this and he reassured me I was a good mom because I was providing for him by working. Ahhh.

At least school will be out in three weeks. Only 10 1/2 more days with kids, so that's the hard part. They are off the walls and out of control! At lot of this has to do with being the end of the school year, but it also has to do because the sub I had while I was gone let them do whatever they wanted. Nice. I have tried to reign the in, but at this point I am leaning toward not really caring and into survival mode. We have SO much going on these last two weeks they should be kept busy, and I have LOTS of things to hang over their head if they misbehave!

My sweet little boy is doing well with my Mom. He was fussy yesterday but still an overall good baby. Pumping, while annoying at times when I have papers to grade, is going well and he hasn't had any problem going from bottle to nursing at night. On Sunday night he slept for a 5 hour stretch again, but the last two nights we are back to every three hours. I guess it will come eventually, but I am hoping for sooner rather than later.

Only two more days this work week, and then a three day week for Memorial Day. The weather is going to be gorgeous and I plan on laying out and starting on my summer tan. I can't wait to spend time with my baby ALL weekend!

Back to the Grind

Tomorrow is the dreaded day. I have to go back to work. I cannot tell you how fast my time off has gone. It feels like yesterday I was getting ready to have my little man and now he is 7 weeks old and getting so big! He is doing so much more everyday and I feel like I am going to miss something. I was hoping my Doc would find something wrong with me at my 7 week clearance appointment Friday, but no such luck.

The good thing is my parents are going to watch him for the 4 weeks of work left. We only have 3 weeks left with students and then one week of teacher in-service so I am trying to get through it. I keep telling myself it isn't that long! I know they will take great care of Patrick, I am not worried about that! I am worried about how the breastfeeding will continue. I have frozen a lot, which is good. My assistant principal who just had a baby last summer also nursed so I contacted her to see how pumping would work out once I returned. She offered her office to me which is much nicer then trying to do it in my car on my break! I have half hour breaks spaced out throughout the day when my kids go to special or to lunch, so the timing isn't bad. I just hope it doesn't affect my supply at all. We will see!

I also hate telling people that I am going back to work. People always seem so shocked that I would entertain the idea of returning. I had planned on being out the rest of the year, but Pat had to make his appearance a little early which results in me returning to work sooner than expected. People's reactions make me feel like a horrible mom for leaving him. Then I always get the questions, "Are you going to be ok?" "How are you going to handle it?" I mean really? What do you want me to say. Do I like it? NO, Do I have a choice? Not really if I would like to get paid (Which I would since we are building a house soon). I mean really, let's not make this any harder for me then it already is.

Last night, Patrick slept for a 5 hour stretch. I think the angels were singing! It was amazing. I would LOVE for him to do that again tonight, but I won't hold my breath. I see some very LONG days in my future. Four weeks. I can do anything for four weeks.

Pray for patience and strength for me! I will need it when I have to leave this little face every morning:

Smile!

I finally caught a smile on camera today. He is starting to do it more and more. He is just too cute!

Schedule Smedule

I am a Type A, organized, scheduled person. Therefore, I think Patrick should be on a schedule too! Some days he stays up a lot during the day, some days he sleeps a lot. When he is awake a lot during the day everyone says, "Great, he should sleep tonight!" I have come to realize that how much he stays up during the day does NOT foreshadow how his night is going to be!

I thought that maybe if we get on a routine, predictable schedule, that would help more. Today was the first day I attempted such routine!

He was awake this morning at 7 to be fed again, so I figured I would change him for the day and have some play time. We sat in his little seat for the first time, had tummy time, made Mommy breakfast and sang some songs together. I even got him to smile a few times on cue! YAY!

I figured I would entertain him for around 2 to 3 hours, get him down for a mid morning 2 hour nap, and then repeat in the afternoon. Well, 45 minutes into our play time this morning, this is what happened...
Patrick had his own schedule! Thankfully, he woke up around 11 this morning, ate and then we had some more play time. He went down for a nap around 2:15, and is even napping in his crib! We will see how well this plan continues!

Army Update!

Since Michael is in the National Guard, and not full time (one weekend a month, two weeks a year) it is almost easy to forget sometimes that this is a part of our life. I do LOVE seeing that man in uniform on that one weekend though!

While Michael was deployed to Iraq, he picked up the rank of Captain. With this comes the need to be in command of a unit at some point in time. After talking about it for awhile and guessing where he would be, he thinks it is finally settled. After mid-level boards he should know where he will be in command.

Doesn't that sound important? I am so proud of all he has accomplished. He was the first in his family to graduate from college and after a difficulty OCS he graduated and has moved up in the ranks. I have no idea how he does it all, from juggling his full time job to his responsibilities with his unit.

Even Rocky is proud of our soldier!


This picture was taken when Michael returned home from deployment. I think he was as happy as I was!

Of course, there is always discussion of when the next 'possible' deployment is. Some of his friends who have been home for a year or two have gotten their notice and are gearing up for their next one. While I may not talk about it all the time, it is always there...looming over our heads. Next time it won't be as simple. We now have a little person that it affects, which breaks my heart. I look at Michael and see how much he loves Patrick, and the thought of him being away for a year breaks my heart. I know how hard it is going to be for him.

But we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we will cherish every moment and celebrate his accomplishments. Like I said, looking at that uniform doesn't hurt!

My Green Thumb

My wonderful Mom came over the other day to help plant all of the flowers I bought at the green house (the same trip I was called a cow!). God bless my Mom, seriously. She has been such a big help and I am so thankful for her. She even helped mulch the whole garden with mulch she bought for her own garden.

I should have taken some before pictures but I wasn't that quick!


It looks much more dramatic in person. I even had a little helper! He looks less then thrilled in this picture!

Say What?

Today, my Mom and I went out to get some flowers for the garden. I love planting flowers this time of year and making the outside of my house look pretty. I will have to post some pictures when I am finished!

Anyway, we were at the greenhouses and I had Patrick in his little pouch carrier so I could use my hands (Surprisingly he LOVES this thing!). Of course I get the usual comments, "He is so cute" How old is he?" etc. One women came up to me and asked how old he was and then if I was nursing. I replied, yes (as if it is any of her business anyway). She then replied, "I knew it because you look like a happy content cow."

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Is this woman implying I am LIKE a cow because of the milk, or that I AM a cow because I am that fat? I mean really.

I just smiled and nodded my head and walked away. Some people really shock the bejezzus out of me.

Oscar the Grouch

I will be the first to admit that I have been so moody these past couple of days. I just don't feel like myself. I think the lack of sleep has a LOT to do with it. I don't even know how to explain it, I am just in a horrible mood and mad at the world for no reason.

Michael is working and I am still home on maternity leave. While I love Patrick to death, by the time Michael gets off work I am ready for him to come home and have some adult interaction. It is also nice to have someone else to take Patrick for a bit. When Michael tells me that he is going to the gym or coming home to go running, I have no idea why but I get mad at him. I feel like I have been home all day, so he should come home and give me a break. I don't know what is wrong with me...this would never bother me normally. I mean it isn't like he works out for four hours!

Same thing happens when he goes to bed at night. I have voluntarily been sleeping upstairs on the couch because I don't want him to wake up every three hours when he has to get up early to go to work. Plus he can't sleep with the monitor - he worries about every little noise and keeps me awake asking if he is ok. I, however, know Patrick is fine, he just is an noisy boy (See yesterday's post!) Anyway, every night when he kisses me goodnight I resent him because I know he is going off to get a good night's sleep while I am going to be woken up every three hours. I really get mad.

By 8:00 at night I am exhausted but I can't go to sleep yet because that is around the time Patrick is ready for a feeding. I am trying to get a schedule going for when I go back to school...bath at 7:30, feeding then to bed. I plan on going to bed myself, even if I have to get up at 11 or 12 that night! I hate having visitors past 7 because I know it is going to push back that schedule and my bedtime. I get really upset when we do and OF COURSE the one visitor who comes at 7 is his Mom so it seems like I am always mad at HER. I just feel like I can't win these days.

I love Patrick to death. I could just eat up his little feet and cheeks. I love that he is growing and getting fatter (I love chubby babies!), but there are times when I get so frustrated because I feel like he is CONSTANTLY eating. Of course I am breastfeeding so I am the only one that can feed him which makes me even more mad...at who, I have no idea, but I am sure I take it out on Michael. Yes, I pump and can have a bottle, but if I don't feed him myself, I still have to pump to keep up my supply.

I get mad when we go places or people come to visit and they get to hold him and have fun with him. Yes, I hold him and play with him during the day, but I also feed him for what feels like 12 hours out of the day! When we have people coming over or when we go places I time it so he is a very content baby or sleeping. There are times when I get upset because I feel like the only thing I am doing is feeding him when everyone else gets to have FUN with him. It's like I'm a cow. I KNOW this isn't true and is completely irrational, but it just is another thing that makes me mad!

I don't know where this post is really going, I think I just need to vent. But then I feel bad for venting because I really am so blessed. Patrick is an amazing baby. He rarely cries and is very content. While he does eat every three hours at night, at least it isn't every hour! (However there have been some of those nights!) I feel like a horrible wife because I know I am taking out my exhaustion and frustration on my husband. I feel like a horrible Mom sometimes because I get frustrated with Patrick.

I think I am just really tired and overwhelmed. I am hoping that Patrick starts sleeping just a TAD bit longer so I can start feeling like myself again and not being such a B**** all the time. Seriously.

Noisy Boy

Patrick makes this noise often when sleeping! It is quite funny.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mother's and Mother's-to-be out there! I have the most amazing Mom on the face of the Earth. She has taught me so much and has always been there. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing relationship with her and I thank God for that every day.
Here we are on our cruise last summer!

I only hope that I am half the mother to Patrick that she has been to me all of these years. Now I am going to go snuggle with my little man and celebrate my FIRST Mother's day!

How could you not love that face?!

Late Night TV

Since Mr. Patrick decides to have some very early morning feedings, I have to keep myself entertained! When I feed him, I make sure the lights are dim and I sit quietly in the glider. I am hoping this lets him know it is night time and we are not supposed to be awake at that hour!

But afterwards, I have a hard time falling back asleep so I need some night time entertainment. After channel surfing for the first couple of days, I stumbled upon the Hallmark channel! I was very happy to see these two shows on between the hours of 3 and 5 am :AND

I love these two shows! I remember watching them when I was younger with my grandparents. I always scan TV Land to see what old shows I can catch. I was delighted last year when I found this gem:
I LOVE Who's the Boss. I think partly because Tony reminds me of my Dad...his sense of humor and the way he acts. My husband even bought Season 1 for me on DVD. Love. It.

With entertainment like this these night time feedings might not be too bad after all!

Our Growing Boy

Today we had our one month well visit to our Doctor! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE our pediatrician? He is so energetic, great with Patrick, and patiently answers all questions I have about written down. The AWESOME part is the waiting room. Literally I check in, and before I can even sit down I am being called back. I cannot state enough how happy this makes me! Especially when I have a baby that could wake up at any minute and become cranky.

Today our boy weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz. That is 2 whole pounds more then he was 2 1/2 weeks ago! He is also 22 inches long, which is up 1 1/2 inches. Amazing! I have to admit that knowing that I am solely breastfeeding and I am helping him grow and be healthy (God willing) is quite amazing. As tiring as getting up every two to three hours is, I know now that it IS paying off for him. Maybe not for me, but I have faith that he will start sleeping longer (Or at least I hope so since I go back to work in two weeks....but that's a different post!)

He also got his second Hep B shot. Poor thing. He cried until I picked him up and then he was just fine! Next month is when he gets a lot of his immunizations. Any suggestions for going to the Doctor then and dealing with it?

Until then I pray he keeps growing as well as he is! Have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day! I will be celebrating my first one! I am truly blessed!

May 1, 2011

I was going to post this yesterday, but Patrick was one month old so of course I had to highlight that instead! Yesterday morning I woke up to my husband kissing me good bye, and then he informed me that Osama bin Laden had been killed. I have to say I was excited. After 10 years of searching, justice was finally served for all of those killed on 9/11 and those who have since died in the line of duty searching for him.

Of course, then we had people debating on Facebook whether we should be celebrating a man's death. I'm sorry, but I think it's cause for a celebration. Now, don't get me wrong, I do not think this in any way ends our wars. In fact, I am sure his death will open up a whole new set of people who want to do us harm. But at least it's one less terrorists.

Now, Philly fans normally get talked about because of their poor sportsmanship, so it was nice to see this instead :

Phillies Fans chant USA


I think now is the time to pray even harder for our troops as surly there will be more attacks in the weeks and months to come. For now, we celebrate a job well done by our troops!

One Month

Well my little boy is one month old already! I can't believe it! Time is flying by, which means so is my maternity leave. I go back to teaching in 21 days :( I know that time is going to go by too quickly as well. At least I have summer break just three weeks after I go back!

He just loves to raise his hand! He wasn't being very cooperative this morning for his photo session!
I don't know how to rotate the picture! Sorry!
I can't wait until I can get him to smile on cue. He does it so fast now I can't get the picture!


Dear Patrick,

I can't believe that you are a month old already. It feels likes yesterday I was laying in the hospital, exhausted, but also completely in love with you. You are the most content baby. The only time that I have seen you completely cry was when you went for your two week heel stick. You were not a happy baby. You cried so hard, to the point of tears. I was so upset. Other than that, you will let out one cry and that's it! That's enough to let us know that you aren't happy about something. Most of the time it's because you are hungry or have a dirty diaper. Otherwise you are very content to look around and take in your surroundings.

I am not sure how much you weigh now, but you have to be putting on weight because you are quickly growing out of your newborn diapers. Your newborn clothes are also getting tight. I am starting to see your skinny little legs get a little chunkier which I absolutely love. We will find our for sure on Friday when we visit Dr. Ludwicki!

The big news this month was that I got you to sleep in your crib at night. For the first two weeks of your life you slept in your swing. I think you liked it because it is so soft and wraps around you which makes you feel safe. April 18th was the first night you slept there and you have been there ever since. I am still on the couch, but I am working on moving back to my bed!

You sleep around three to four hours at a time at night, and nurse every two to three hours in the daytime. You are starting to stay awake more during the day which I love! You love laying on your playmate and even love tummy time. Your neck is so strong. You have been able to hold it up since day one. When you are on your tummy you can turn your head back and forth and are starting to lift your head up and look forward more.

You are still drinking breast milk, both from me and a bottle. I never know exactly how much you get from me but I am guessing about 2 - 3 ounces at a time at least. I know you are getting enough because you have PLENTY of dirty diapers every day!

You have also been to visit many places in your first month! We have been to the mall, Target, Wal-Mart, the beach, the Bug and Bud Festival in Milford and of course Nana and Grandpop and Granny and Grandpa's house!

Patrick, your Daddy and I love you so very much and can't wait to see how you grow in the coming months!

Love,
Mommy