The Calm Before the Chaos!

Today is our last day as a family of two (God willing!). I am almost finished cleaning the house and got a pedicure today. If you ask me, every girl needs one before delivery! The house is so quiet and I am trying to relax and enjoy it while I can.

I hope that I can get some sleep tonight too. I have such a mix of emotions. I am so excited to meet Patrick, and terrified at the same time. Between not knowing exactly how labor is going to go, being worried that everything will go ok and baby and I will be healthy, bringing him home and not having ANY clue about what I am doing.

Just pray for a safe and healthy delivery for us!

Mixed Messages

So, as you may know I am being induced on Friday at 37 weeks. This is due to high blood pressure, and mild pre-eclampsia. My BP has been high since my Doc checked at 9 weeks pregnant. I equated that high BP to my nervousness about hearing the heartbeat for the first time and being worried that everything was ok. Of course, after that, I knew he was looking at it and therefore was always nervous in his office.

Cue the 24 hour urine collection. Oh the joy of it! My Doc said it was necessary because a sign of pre-eclamsia is high BP. If mine was already high, then they would need another sign to show if I was pre-eclamptic.

A few weeks ago, my urine tested high for protein, and then again 2 weeks later. To be cautious and not take any chances, an induction was scheduled for 37 weeks. Doc doesn't want to put my health at risk if the baby is just fine and ready. Apparently at 37 weeks I am considered full term. Of course I still worry about him and how he will do when he makes his appearance. We will see.

Flash forward to my level 2 ultrasound on Monday. My high risk OB said that I am an 'interesting' case. He doesn't think I have pre-eclampsia. He said if he was worried about it he wouldn't let me walk the street. He said that the first urine I did was high. That was done during that first trimester when your levels should be the same they were before I was pregnant. Therefore, my levels were high even when I wasn't pregnant, or so he thinks.

I then asked him if maybe there was something off with my kidneys that had nothing to do with the pregnancy and he said this was very well possible. He said that since I was feeling fine, my BP was normal (I told him about the nurse taking it every day), and the baby was perfect, he doesn't think it has anything to do with the pregnancy. I get the feeling that he wouldn't be inducing me on Friday, but he said it wouldn't hurt anything. He said some babies have some trouble breathing, but the majority are fine.

I wish I could keep him in a little longer to ensure his lungs are mature enough, but I guess I don't have a choice. Just pray that I have a smooth delivery and little Patrick is healthy and can come home right away. I will worry about my own kidneys sometime later!

Enough!

There are many things about this pregnancy that I will miss. Most of all feeling Patrick squirm around in my stomach, and even those kicks to the ribs! I love feeling them because I know that he is doing well and healthy and I love that. I also miss eating whatever I want without scrutiny. Let's be clear, I eat whatever I want regardless. I am not one of 'those' girls that gets a salad when they go out to eat with friends. Ask my husband. I wasn't afraid to eat on our first date! However, now people will look at me like I am a fat a*** instead of 'having an excuse.' Ah well!

One thing that I will NOT miss (besides my poor swollen sausages that were once my feet) is everyone saying "Sleep now because once the baby comes you won't get any rest!" Really? Gee, thanks. I thought I was going to pop this kid out and he would be on a perfect schedule, sleeping from 10 pm to 7 am and eating when I eat. I realize he will be a newborn. He will eat and sleep whenever he wants. I get it. I don't need reminders that I am going to be a zombie (If I don't get my sleep I am miserable....again, ask my poor husband). But, I will adjust. I am sure that looking into his little eyes will be worth all of those sleepless nights. Or at least I will keep telling myself that!

One other thing that I will NOT miss and everyone telling me how small I am. Look, I don't FEEL small and while I am grateful I didn't gain 1,000 pounds, every time someone tells me how small I am I feel like I am a bad mom. (I know, ridiculous). It just makes me feel like somehow I am not giving him what he needs and he should be bigger. I know it isn't true because he always measures perfectly, but still, that's how that comment makes me feel.

Honestly, I have had an amazing pregnancy. No morning sickness, I have felt GREAT, I have had energy and can still move around pretty well and do my normal routine. If these are the only two things I can complain about then I will continue to count my blessings. Now if only I can say the same about the delivery this weekend!

36 Weeks

How Far Along - 36 Weeks! Only 1 to go, thanks to our induction.
Size of Baby - Patrick is still packing on the pounds. He weighs almost 6 pounds and is over 18 1/2 inches long. He is crammed in there! We will have a better estimate on his weight on Monday when we go for our last Level 2 ultrasound!
What the baby can do this week- He is shedding the downy covering of hair that is covering his body and the waxy substance that covers and protects his skin. At the end of this week he is considered full term!
Total Weight Gain - 24 pounds. Not too shabby!
Maternity Clothes - Yes! I can still wear a few of my shirts, but mostly maternity shirts and definitely maternity pants.
Gender - A baby boy! Patrick James
Sleep - Pretty good. I wake up at 4 and then start thinking about labor and everything I still need to do!
What I Crave - Cadbury eggs.
Symptoms - Swollen feet! My feet are huge by the end of the day! Today was my last day of work, so next week I plan on keeping them up!
Baby Purchases - We are going to pick up a few odds and ends this weekend at Babies R Us and that will be it! Michael needs to put all of the big purchases together this weekend.

Today at the Doc, he did my pelvic exam and cultures (to check for Strep B). I am 1 cm dilated. YAY! Hey, that's one less to go later!

Coming Home

Has anyone had a chance to see the show "Coming Home' on Lifetime? It airs on Sundays after Army Wives, an obsession of mine. I DVR Army Wives because I can't stay awake (even though they moved it up an hour!). I kept seeing previews for this show while I watched Army Wives and knew I had to watch.

While Michael was deployed I tortured myself with homecoming videos on YouTube, imaging what it would feel like when my husband returned home from Iraq. Watching those buses pull up and seeing him was an amazing feeling that I cannot adequately describe, but if you have experienced it you know. I felt such a sense of pride to see my husband in that uniform, and a sense of relief. I felt like after 12 months I could finally breath again.

I should have known this show would be a tear jerking mess for me! I couldn't even watch the previews without losing it! I still love it though! I know next time I have to experience deployment I won't be alone, and will have to handle the emotions that Patrick deals with too. Watching the segments with kids about killed me! I pray I never have to experience it, but I know all too well God can't answer ALL prayers.

A girl can still hope though. Until then, I can watch this show and remember the JOY that this moment brought for my family!

Pleasing Everyone

Along with being a Type A, super organized, neat freak, I also have this obsessive need to please EVERYONE. I don't want to disappoint anyone, or make anyone upset. I absolutely HATE when people are mad at me.

This is why the upcoming birth of our son is causing me panic attacks...(not to mention the unknown amount of pain I will experience or really what to expect). I have certain expectations of events that will transpire after the birth.

I have been carrying around this little miracle for 9 months now. I have felt every kick, hiccup or nudge, and my husband has been right there with me. I really want to spend the first hour or two of his life as just 'us.' Our new little family of three. I will need time to recover myself, but I also want to time to inspect everything about this new little man and to see my amazing husband hold his son. I want to be able to hold him and kiss him and try to breastfeed for the first time, and not feel like I need to rush through this special time so I can let family see and meet him. Those first few hours are going to be a time that we can never get back, and I think it is so important to take that time and bond with our baby.

Is that being selfish? I don't want to disappoint anyone, or make them mad if they can't see him right away. Not to mention, I am pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something MUCH smaller. I would like to rest and clean myself up a bit too. I don't want to feel rushed or like I am hurting people's feelings.

I don't even know if this is making sense but I feel much better writing it down at least. I have no idea what to expect of my delivery experience. I do know that I can't wait to meet Patrick and hold him finally. Less than two weeks!!!

35 Weeks

How Far Along - 35 Weeks. Wow! I would say 5 more weeks, but for me it's only 2! More on that later!
Size of Baby - Patrick weighs around 5 1/4 pounds and is over 18 inches! I can't wait to see how much he really weighs on the 28th.
What the baby can do this week- Because he is so snug in there, he won't be doing any more somersaults, but the kicks are about the same (Yes, right into my ribs!) His kidneys are fully developed and his liver can process some waste. Most of his basic physical development is complete now, he will spend the next few weeks putting on weight.
Total Weight Gain - 23.5 pounds. Yes that half pound counts....it sounds better than 24! Still right on track!
Maternity Clothes - Yes! I can still wear a few of my shirts, but mostly maternity shirts and definitely maternity pants.
Gender - A baby boy! Patrick James
Sleep - Pretty good...I am exhausted, but Michael is away so that never helps.
What I Crave - Cadbury eggs.
Symptoms - Heartburn! It's been killing me recently! Not only that but this kid is just sitting on my ribs so by the end of the day my ribs are so sore. My feet are starting to swell and by the end of the week they are rather large and gross. Thank goodness this baby is coming in two weeks because sandal season is almost here!
Baby Purchases - I don't think I will have to purchase anything for awhile after Patrick's shower! I have done four loads of laundry this week for him! That's more than I have done for me! He isn't spoiled one bit! I have organized everything and am feeling pretty good. Now Michael needs to get home so he can put everything together, like the stroller, jumper, high chair and pack and play. So exciting!


Yesterday at my Doctor's appointment I was able to convince him that I should work another week. But that is all I am going to get. Doc has said this is it no matter what. I am scheduled to be induced on April 1st due to my BP and my protein. My previous protein level was 320 which was a little high, but he said it was ok. This past one was 342, which he still said was ok. I asked when we start to panic and he said that I never do.....let him worry about it!(Obviously he doesn't know I Google everything).

I am ok with that. I am just glad I was able to get in three more weeks of work. The only bad part is because I am delivering early, I may have to go back to school for a few weeks :( I guess we will cross the bridge when I get to it.

For the rest of the day I will be doing laundry and organizing his room a little more. I can't believe we are going to have a baby in two weeks!

SURPRISE!

I knew that my baby shower was coming up....or at least I hoped. My Type A personality was starting to have a nervous break down about making sure everything was ready to go for little Patrick's arrival.

I assumed it was this coming Saturday because my mom mentioned that my Aunt was coming down and we should all come over for dinner. Not to mention Michael is away at school for his Captain's Career Course and Mom would plan it then because then I would have something to do while he was gone!

Boy was I wrong. Awhile ago I received an invite to a Mary Kay party for this past Sunday at my Mom's friends house. I was actually kind of excited to go on Sunday because I need some foundation. I don't normally shop Mary Kay, but if I had to go to a party I might as well get some goodies!

Sunday morning Michael left, and thanks to my hormones I was a mess. It's only two weeks! You would think I was sending him back to Iraq. I was mad at myself for being so ridiculous! I just wasn't feeling hot and almost called my Mom to tell her I wasn't going to make it. BUT I sucked it up and decided to go at the last minute.

I think this pregnancy is killing brain cells because I missed all of the signs. Even my husband knew it was on Sunday when he saw the Mary Kay invite. I mean really! Needless to say I was shocked and upset at first because I really had a cute outfit picked out and would have put on more make up had I known (I was going to a Mary Kay party....I thought I would put on make up there!) I just wanted good pictures...geez!

Once I got over the shock, I was so excited to see all of my friends and family. I have to say the amount of presents we received was insane. When everything was brought to my house I felt like I had a Babies R Us showroom!
These are just the bags, there are huge boxes that include a stroller and car seat, high chair, Pack and Play, just to name a few!

I didn't want to put everything away because Michael really wants to see everything, but again the Type A jumped up and wouldn't let me rest! With Mom and Dad's help everything is out of the bags at least and somewhat organized. Let's just say Michael had A LOT to put together when he gets home next week! I really don't think there is one thing that we need to go out and buy! We are truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

34 Weeks

How Far Along - 34 Weeks.. A month and a half to go!
Size of Baby - Patrick weighs 4 and 3/4 pounds (it is probably more since he weighed that almost two weeks ago!) and is almost 18 inches long.
What the baby can do this week- According to BabyCenter his fat is still filling out, and his skin is smoother than every. His central nervous system is continuing to mature as are his lungs. The good news is babies who have no other problems who are born between 34 and 37 weeks generally do just fine!
Total Weight Gain - 22 pounds. Not bad!
Maternity Clothes - I wish I could stay in my PJ's all day.
Gender - A baby boy! Patrick James
Sleep - I slept good this week, probably because I was exhausted.
What I Crave - Chocolate...not good for the weight gain!
Symptoms - Patrick has his moments when he is moving like crazy, and then you know when he is taking a nap! He gives my ribs a break for awhile. He has his butt and his feet up there which explains why I am so sore. Belly is still getting bigger. I am starting to feel slightly huge! My BP was good all week, according to the nurse and not bad when I went to the Doc today! YAY!
Baby Purchases - Michael put together the changing table today! I will post pictures soon! So exciting.

I can also work at least another week! Yay for small victories!

I KNEW it! (Quick Update)

So today, just as the Doctor ordered, I had the nurse check my BP around 10 am. It was 136/83. I know, to most of you that is high, but that is around what it has run the whole time I have been pregnant. I hope that I get readings like that (preferably lower) all week so I can show the Doc that it's just when I come to his office. We will see! I would really like to work 2 more weeks, if not right up to when they induce me but I guess I will have to follow Doc's orders (reluctantly).

The Verdict

Well, I have convinced my Doc that I can work at least one more week! My mom and I went to the appointment yesterday and I prepared her for the waiting. OF COURSE, the one time that Michael is not there, we got called back in 10 minutes! HA. I am sure next week when he is there we will wait MUCH longer.

My urine looked good (no protein!) and I gained 1/2 a pound (I thought for sure it would be more, but I won't complain!) Then came the moment of truth. The blood pressure machine. I had been dreading it all day, actually all week. Especially after Michael and I met with our financial and insurance people from the school district and were informed that if I had to go out on Monday, I would be dropped from the insurance because we had 66 days of work left. We have the BIG dog insurance because we are both state employees so we don't pay anything! (I know...be jealous!). If I had to be on bed rest, 60 days is the cut off for insurance, so after that we would have to pay for it. This does not make me happy. Anyway, with all of that being sad, I KNEW m BP would be up....and it was, 150/90. Fantastic. I was NOT looking forward to seeing the Doc.

When he came in, before he even had a chance to talk I ran through all of the reasons why I should NOT be put on bedrest. He listened, explained why he wanted to, then said as long as I had my BP checked by the school nurse and it didn't get over a certain point, and I had a test repeated then I could work. I was so relieved. As we were leaving I guess he got a GOOD look at what my BP was, and instead of seeing me in two weeks, I go in one. Oh well! At least one more week of work is in my future!

I was also informed that I would not be allowed to go to my due date. Because of the preeclampsia they would induce me at 37 weeks, which would be April 1. The ONE day Michael said he did not want his son born. HA. I am sure there is some wiggle room there. I have mixed emotions about being induced. As a Type A, I LOVE planning and knowing dates (refer to NOT knowing when the shower is) but won't my labor be much longer and harder? I have read that many can lead to C-Sections because your body just isn't ready yet. I need to stop reading, seriously.

What do you think? Any stories about inductions?

33 Weeks

How Far Along - 33 Weeks...Where has the time gone?
Size of Baby - Patrick weighs 4 pounds 9 ounces (as of Monday's ultrasound) and is about 17 inches long (according to Baby Center). The tech said he was right on schedule and looked perfect!
What the baby can do this week- According to BabyCenter he is losing the wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together which allows them to move so he can fit through the birth canal.
Total Weight Gain - 20 pounds but I see my Doc today, so it is probably more!
Maternity Clothes - I wish I could stay in my PJ's all day.
Gender - A baby boy! Patrick James
Sleep - I slept good this week, probably because I was exhausted. Probably won't sleep too good this weekend though - I never do when Michael is gone.
What I Crave - Cereal
Symptoms - Patrick has his moments when he is moving like crazy, and then you know when he is taking a nap! He gives my ribs a break for awhile. He has his butt and his feet up there which explains why I am so sore. Belly is still getting bigger. I am starting to feel slightly huge!
Baby Purchases - The new glider came on Monday and Michael put that together. I love it and can't wait to sit in it with him. Right now when I sit there, the cats join me! HA. I received a lot of clothes from a co-worker and can't wait to wash everything and put it away. We just have to wait for OUR furniture to come so I can move my clothes out of his dresser! I can't wait!

Still have no clue when the shower is. At this point, I am going to start bribing people.

I go see my regular OB today so wish me luck. I really need to keep working just to keep my level of sanity normal. I don't think I will be a good person on bedrest. I feel fantastic and Patrick is perfect so hopefully I will still be good to go. I will let you know!

Growing Boy!

We had an appointment at my high risk OB yesterday. I was anxious because I really wanted Patrick to be much bigger just in case he needs to make an early appearance.

I got my wish...he is measuring around 4 pounds 9 ounces! Right on target and perfect. The amniotic fluid measured perfectly, the blood flow was great and all of his measurements were right on target. The Doc even said she saw some hair on his head when she scanned him!

I couldn't ask for better news. I explained everything that has happened recently with the test results and BP. she reviewed everything, took my BP (which was FINE at her office) and said that I shouldn't worry. Patrick is perfect and I feel great and as long as everything is going well, we are still fine!

Now if I can just convince my other Doctor of that on Friday!