Diagnosis

On Friday, my Doctor called. Himself. Always a sign something is wrong. Sure enough, my latest 24 hour urine results came back and my protein was 320. For reference, the first one I did was 220, which my high risk OB said was a little high but nothing to worry about. He told me 300 is when we start to worry. Needless to say, my Doc was worried.

He has diagnosed me with mild preeclampsia. I listened carefully and tried not to cry on the phone. He said I need to drink a lot of water, rest as much as possible and he would check my blood pressure again on Friday during our regular appointment. He said if it was high, then we would discuss the possibility of maybe not working anymore. I got off the phone with him and was trying to explain everything to Michael when the waterworks started. I sobbed for a good 10 minutes, and then just when I got it under control, my parents came over for a dinner we already had scheduled and I started again.

Little man has always measured wonderfully. He passed his profile on Thursday with flying colors and I feel him squirming all over. I know he is ok. Of course, that doesn't stop me from worrying that if my BP was too high I would have to deliver, and at 32 weeks, that is too soon for me. By the time I go to see the Doc on Friday I will be 33....ok, but not enough. I want to be able to bring him home with me, not visit him in the NICU.

The possibility of me not working is stressful (great while trying to keep my BP down). My long term sub hasn't even been chosen yet, and I still have so much to do with my students. Of course everyone tells me this isn't important (Have they met me??).

Also, if I have to go on bedrest there are so many things that are NOT ready yet. I haven't even had my shower! Patrick's room isn't ready, I don't even have diapers, no stroller, etc.

The internet is also no help. I should NEVER research topics on my own or read stories. They just make things worse!

My husband can't make it to the Doc with me on Friday because he has to go away with the Guard for the weekend so Mom is coming instead. She knows how to keep me calm so it might be good. Plus she will ask all the questions I will forget as I try not to cry. Michael is also going away for two weeks in the middle of the month for school. I feel horrible. I don't want him to have to worry about me while he is away. I feel like I am messing up all of these plans we have coming up.

I know I don't really have control over the situation. I need to rest as much as possible, try to come to terms with the fact that I CAN'T control it, and I need to just have faith. Say a prayer that my BP is down on Friday, and our ultrasound tomorrow shows that little man is still growing the way he should and is fattening up just in case he needs to make an early entrance!

Meanwhile, if you have any advice or GOOD stories, please share! I need reassurance here.