Last night, as I watched the tree lighting in New York, I think I realized the enormity of the situation Michael and I are in. I know that he willingly signed up, and that I married him knowing full well this even was possible, but I still never realized what it would entail. Being apart from him has been the hardest thing. Even when he was in Texas, it was hard, but he was still in the U.S. He has had training that has lasted just as long! Now with the holidays approaching, and the brigade's impending departure from Kuwait to Iraq, I think it has become even more real.
From what I understand from Michael, in the little time I have talked with him, I have realized the Kuwait is pretty close to a hell hole. He hates it. There are no other words to describe his emotion. He can't wait to get to Iraq, meanwhile, I wish he would stay longer in Kuwait. I know that he is miserable, and I do at least want him to be somewhat happy so his time can go faster, but Kuwait is safe. Iraq is unknown and scary. Tonight on the news they reported that in November, there was the lowest number of deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan combined - only 11. To anyone else this may seem amazing, but to mean it is still awful. There are 11 families who are without their loved ones. Instead of waiting for them to come home, there won't be a homecoming. It is a scary, scary thing. Christmas without Michael sucks. Deployment sucks. I was speaking with a fellow wife, and she said ya know, we try to put on a good face, but sometimes there are no other words to say besides this sucks.
But Michael and I will get through it. I say a prayer everyday that he comes home to me safely. I still am not sleeping through the night, and I carry my phone around like life support but I will live. Yes I am more emotional, I cry at the drop of a hat, and wine, which I love, is probably not the best decision, but I will survive.
On a much lighter note - Happy Birthday Courtney! You are officially old! Congratulations! Make sure Gabe either cooks or takes you out to a nice restaurant! Love you!
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2 comments:
It's all in how you spin it. You could go out and read every great story about soldiers coming home safe to their families, how wives have made it through longer times apart and how everything works out. Then you would have the overwhelming feeling that everything will be just fine and it will. Just take the negative news in stride and concentrate on the positive news stories. If you concentrated on the negatives of being a teacher you probably wouldn't have ever considered doing it. Kids bringing guns to school, parents telling you that you don't know what you're doing and the always popular kid pooping his pants. So try your hardest to be optimistic and find the positive in everyday. I'll try my best to make you laugh as much as possible. Oh and I definately polished off 90% of the bottle of wine last night ;)
Dubis you should have gone to school to be a counselor! I am so thankful I have friends like you are Courtney. You always can make me laugh and know how to spin situations so I don't completely lose it. Thank you - and keep drinking that wine.
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