At a Loss

I have been having a hard time deciding what to write about lately. There isn't too much going on, while other things are harder to write about.

Michael and I have always wanted kids, and while his Mom has asked since we got married if I was pregnant, we decided to take it slow. We wanted to accomplish some things first, like our graduate degrees and building our house, and just be with each other. Well, we both have our degrees. In fact, we each have two, while I am halfway to a third Master's and our house, while it isn't being built, our current house is up for sale, and we have purchased land. We knew that we wanted to do all of this first, because when we do have children I want to spend as much time with them as possible. We also needed to wait until after our last vacation because frankly, I wanted to drink! Selfish, I know. Sorry.

I have realized there is never perfect timing for a baby, and with that said let the 'practice' begin! As stated before, I am a perfectionist. When I want to do something I research it and plan it out to the finest detail. I have done all of this for months, so when that first test came back NOT, I was very upset. I have no idea why. I know that it could take months to be successful, but I was so upset. We have friends who have tried for two years, and unsuccessfully tried IVF last month, so why was I sad after one time? Ridiculous. I know I need to just relax, otherwise the stress will be detrimental. This is one time my pre-planning, Type A personality may not be beneficial! I guess we can at least have fun trying right?

We also found out today that a fellow teacher in Michael's school has Stage 4 cancer throughout her body. She has a 4 year old and a 1 year old. It is heartbreaking. How can such bad things happen to such good people?

Cherish every moment.