Along with being a Type A, super organized, neat freak, I also have this obsessive need to please EVERYONE. I don't want to disappoint anyone, or make anyone upset. I absolutely HATE when people are mad at me.
This is why the upcoming birth of our son is causing me panic attacks...(not to mention the unknown amount of pain I will experience or really what to expect). I have certain expectations of events that will transpire after the birth.
I have been carrying around this little miracle for 9 months now. I have felt every kick, hiccup or nudge, and my husband has been right there with me. I really want to spend the first hour or two of his life as just 'us.' Our new little family of three. I will need time to recover myself, but I also want to time to inspect everything about this new little man and to see my amazing husband hold his son. I want to be able to hold him and kiss him and try to breastfeed for the first time, and not feel like I need to rush through this special time so I can let family see and meet him. Those first few hours are going to be a time that we can never get back, and I think it is so important to take that time and bond with our baby.
Is that being selfish? I don't want to disappoint anyone, or make them mad if they can't see him right away. Not to mention, I am pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something MUCH smaller. I would like to rest and clean myself up a bit too. I don't want to feel rushed or like I am hurting people's feelings.
I don't even know if this is making sense but I feel much better writing it down at least. I have no idea what to expect of my delivery experience. I do know that I can't wait to meet Patrick and hold him finally. Less than two weeks!!!
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2 comments:
It makes perfect sense and the people who love you should understand. Just explain exactly as you wrote it and if people don't seem to understand tell them that's fine and don't tell them that he has arrived until you are ready to take visitors.
Kel,
This does not sound unreasonable at all! Seeing as you are birthing a child, I think you should set the rules. If anyone has issues with that, you give them my number. On a side note, I am so excited for the newest love of my life to be here! Patrick, be nice to mommy. She's been through alot getting you here!
Love you xoxoxo
Sallie
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